I have the exact same experience. I can use an iPhone 15 pro (oled) for a long time, even in bed and in a completely blacked out room.
I have recently had my first experience with Oled tv’s, first a Sony Bravia 8 (woled tv) and now a Samsung S95D (qd-oled). Image quality on the S95D is just exceptional, but unfortunately both tv's give me severe eye strain. It does not seem to be related to brightness, although this does seem to make it worse (high brightness/HDR content etc.). The matte screen of the S95D looked certainly better and easier on the eyes at first, but still becomes pretty much unwatchable for me in only a matter of days. I have never had an issue with glossy screens, so that (for me) does not seem to be related.
The first few days the image was reasonable for a few hours, but on day 3/4 I could not watch it for more than a few minutes. It seems the strain is building up over time and gets worse every day. My first thought was maybe I just have to get used to it, but how can I get used to something if I am not even able to watch it any longer than a few minutes a time. At first the brightness of these new tv’s was also a lot higher, but I seem to have adjusted to that.
My previous tv BTW was a Samsung KS7000 (2016) and had 120hz pulse width modulation dimming. This is pretty similar to the refresh rate and PWM on my iPhone 15 pro. Today I went to the TV store and watched several Samsung 8K Neo Qled tv's (similar design and one connect box) and had no issues for 1,5 hours watching straight. These also have 120hz PWM. The moment I transferred to one of the Samsung Oled’s on display, the eye strain was back almost immediately.
So my theory is that our brain can somehow pickup the PWM and ignore it, because it is clearly discernible and very stable. The slight dip that occurs on Oled tv's, however, is also picked up by our brains, but it is not easily discernible and that is why I believe our brains instruct our eyes to try to focus on it and as a consequence the muscles get tired, very quickly. Our brains simply can’t ignore it for some reason. Probably most people just don't pick it up.
I am a high sensitive person in general, but also have a neurological condition, which might add to the sensitivity. I can also see the oled flicker when the image is still, whereas my wife does not. I don't know if my eyes are seeing it, or it is just my eye muscles that are flickering instead, trying to adjust to the image. It is too bad this is not a more researched phenomenon. The oled flicker also seems to be less steady as a whole when you view the screen in slow motion (240fps), with LED it seems to be a more constant flicker, but maybe that is just my feeling.
Hope I will someday understand what is going on here. The people in the store never heard of it. At least you know you are not alone and you are not crazy 🙂!
Update 08/08/24: I went to the optician today and found out I need prism glasses due to double vision, see more detailed response below.