Gleb,
For external displays I'm following an interesting topic on macrumors: https://forums.macrumors.com/threads/the-subpixel-aa-debacle-and-font-rendering.2184484/
The main idea is that Apple no longer cares about displays with resolutions lower than HiDPI. Here's an extract from the last comment:
"100 ppi: front rendering unacceptable after 10.6
160 ppi (4K 27"): font rendering unacceptable after 10.13
220 ppi (5K 27" = retina): font rendering acceptable with all OS's"
Could be because Apple are testing their OS on iMacs or Macbook Pros
I was going to buy an external matte display for iMac, but based on the info from that thread I've decided not to do it. I also tried connecting an old 19-inch Samsung 971p display with 1280x1024 resolution, and it was blurry with any possible settings.
On my iMac I switched off any font anti-aliasing and font smoothing with TinkerTool under Mojave and keep on doing so under Catalina. I was feeling dizzy from those thicker fonts. I've just tried reenabling font-antialiasing and set font smoothing to 1 in order to check it now, and I did not like how it looked. Small UI fonts are not an issue for me, as long as they stay thin. I believe that after some time I do not read the UI elements as careful as in the beginning, because I know what is written there, and this reduces the strain. But in work apps, where the text is always new to me, I make fonts larger.
I believe the font rendering on Mac is indeed not optimal. On Windows, with its lower resolutions, fonts never caused me any issues.
Probably, macOS would benefit from even more ppi than it has now. Fonts on my iPad with its 264 ppi are great, and even better on iPhone SE having 324 ppi. No strain at all.