oh looks it's not the bit depth that is my second problem but DPI!! Accidentally noticed that under SwitchResX there are HiDPI and same resolution as regular ones, as soon I picked non HiDPI my Mac discomfort lowered (both on the Retina display and the External one).
Besides not being able to tolerate "smooth fonts" looks I can't tolerate DPI > 1x
https://wiki.archlinux.org/index.php/HiDPI#Chromium_.2F_Google_Chrome
Here is output of chrome://gpu/ output from my comfortable chromebook
Display(s) Information
Info Display[12528934998507520] bounds=[0,0 1241x698], workarea=[0,0 1241x650], scale=1.1, internal.
Color space information {primaries:INVALID, transfer:INVALID, matrix:INVALID, range:INVALID}
Bits per color component 8
Bits per pixel 24
Info Display[13702326689085187] bounds=[1241,0 1600x900], workarea=[1241,0 1600x852], scale=1, external.
Color space information {primaries_d50_referred: [[0.6663, 0.3285], [0.3202, 0.6144], [0.1480, 0.0513]], transfer:0.0000x + 0.0000 if x < 0.0000 else (1.0000x + 0.0000)**2.2000 + 0.0000, matrix:RGB, range:FULL}
Bits per color component 8
Bits per pixel 24
At this point I use same external monitors, same font, no smoothing, DPI scale 1 and the Mac still gives me slight discomfort, it's has slight blurness, however I would say 95+% my situation has been improved 😃
Looks if iPhone X feels worse than iPhone 8 then it's the DPI, DOES SIZE MATTER? section on this link
https://www.zdnet.com/article/iphone-x-or-iphone-8-price-size-camera-all-factor-in-your-buying-decision/
as it has higher scale.