So here it is, the oneplus 8t arrived and I got to test it in the last 24 hrs. This one still strains my eyes, though not as bad as MI 10 in the first day of use, but my eyes are getting dry cannot properly focus the text on this screen after 10 minutes. Changing the different display settings don't bring any improvements either.
When I look at the Samsung A40 (amoled with Android 10) and P20pro it feels like my eyes are relaxing and after a few days of use, my eyes are more and more relieved. The same is with my Tab S2 with amoled display.
I think I will give up finding a new phone as I don't seem to understand what triggers my eyes. I tried both lcd (Mi 10t pro) and amoled(S10 lite, mi 10, 8t). I'm not sure that the high refresh is the culprit here, as the S10 lite has 60hz, maybe the high nits in brightness? Also, if it was pwm, then the older phones would cause that too.
I don't have any issues with lcd displays (laptop, tvs) and yet I had with the mi 10t pro.
The common thing is the processor, SD865 (855 for the S10 lite)
So yeah, if you can return the devices, you might give it a try.
Later edit: it does seem a bit more easy on the eyes in dark environment with low brightness and vision confort enabled.