My Long Story (a.k.a. How Apple Almost Made Me a vommiting Monk)

coba_chok

Hey guys,

First of all — apologies for my English, I’m not a native speaker, so sometimes things may sound a bit... creatively twisted with voices in my head. Used sine AI for formating and making story more readable. Also, I have ADHD — but I’ve always managed it pretty well and it never really caused me discomfort. Until recently.

I’m a 32-year-old guy, and for the last 10 years, I’ve been struggling with something that made me feel constantly nauseous, dizzy, demotivated, and borderline depressed — especially when using electronic devices.

At first, I thought it was just age, stress, or maybe my ADHD. I saw multiple doctors, and every one of them told me I was totally fine. “You could be an astronaut!” they said. But I still felt like vomiting into my keyboard every time I used a phone or laptop.

Then I found this forum and some Reddit subs, where I discovered I wasn’t alone. People mentioned things like PWM sensitivity, temporal dithering, cybersickness — all of which sounded like a mix between sci-fi and horror.

I started trying.. whenever I stopped using screens entirely — I felt amazing. Motivated. Alive. Human again. And then I’d check my phone... and boom: nausea, vertigo, migraines. Like Groundhog Day, but the tech version.

So I went down the rabbit hole and tried almost everything. Here's the list of my glorious experiments:

1. ADHD Meds (amphetamine-based):
Made the symptoms a bit more tolerable… but also made me tolerate not sleeping for a week, running marathon distances without any preparations, and then crash for a month like a hungover bear. Felt like borrowing energy on credit — with brutal interest rates.

2. SSRIs:
Yeah, they helped too — but turned me into an emotionless zombie. I could’ve lost everything, my kids can get in car accedent and still said, “Meh, whatever.” At least I didn’t care about the nausea.

3. Alcohol:
Surprisingly effective (even made even ugly girls look better and tolerable..😅). But next-day hangovers? Pass.

4. Eye Patching:
Tried that. Felt like a pirate. Forgot I was wearing it. Looked weird. Didn’t help.

5. Eye Drops (pressure up/down):
All I got at best was red, dry eyes the next morning. No improvement otherwise.

6. Glasses (blue light, amber, orange, yellow, grey, black, rose...):
Mild improvement. Migraines just showed up fashionably late.

7. Screen protectors (matte, blue-filtering):
may be 1-3% relieve (placebo or statistical error).

8. Dark mode + reduce white point + (night shift, grey scale, true-tone, auto-brightness) - and all this musthelp accessability bs…:
Actually made things worse.

9. MacBook, Ipad mini with IPS screen and pulse checker:
No flickering detected, but my stomach still said nope.

10. Tools like StillColor, font adjusters:
Tiny improvements, but not enough to stop the suffering.

I tested a ridiculous number of devices:

iPhone X, XS, XS Max, OnePlus 7, 11, 12 Pro Max, 13, 13 Pro Max, 14, 14 Pro Max, 15 Pro, 15 Pro Max, 16, 16 Pro Max
MacBook Air M1, MacBook Pro M3 Pro, iMac M1, iPad Mini 7, iPad Pro M2 12.9, MacBook Air M4

And more...

As you can see, I mainly used Apple gear. Why? Because I loved the design, the simplicity, the cohesive interface. Everything looks and feels like it was made by a minimalist monk. Unlike Android — where it sometimes feels like an app hurricane blew through your phone and left behind 37 different font styles and button designs. 😅 You can see that I had used OnePlus 7 and also felt terrible (but now I cannot say exactly it was due to terrible 120hz pwm or because of parallel using iphone)

Plus, Apple’s video quality and overall UX are top-notch. But for me — they came with a huge price.

One theory I heard: maybe I have cybersickness (when your eyes perceive movement but your body doesn’t).
Can be true but sounds like BS. I can drift through traffic like a maniac, or ride rollercoasters at theme parks without any issues. But unlocking my phone? Instant nausea.

Oh, and by the way — I've spent over $30,000 on all these devices. In my country, we don’t have a return policy, so I had to resell each one with a loss. Ouch.

And then... a miracle happened.

I found that somehow I can use the MacBook Air M4 with StillColor enabled, light mode, low brightness, a white wallpaper — and tinted glasses. (reduce motion on, night shift off, true tone off, grey scale minimum)

(But paying that much for a laptop just to work in front of it like I’m welding metal in a factory feels a bit too much, honestly.) 😅

I decided to buy new device every month and test it solely. Stupid me did not made it before and I do not why.

First in list was samsung s25 ultra… Idea seemed also stupid for me, but I had nothing to loose.

Yes — the device everyone said has horrible PWM and dithering. But... it worked. I used it for a month, avoided all other screens, and I literally felt reborn. Motivated. Clear-headed. I even forgot what nausea felt like.

I then tested other laptops — Huawei, Dell — and they also worked fine.

Looking back, it seems my 10-year suffering began when I got my first Apple device as a student. It was stylish, it was sleek — and it secretly wrecked me.

I still don’t know exactly what causes this, but here's what I suspect about Apple:

You can’t disable all animations. Even with "Reduce Motion" turned on, there’s still some ghostly blurry stuff going on.
You can’t change system fonts or font rendering. Maybe that’s part of the problem.
You can’t truly disable parallax. Even reduced, it’s still... wiggling.
You can’t turn off all sensors — True Tone, Face ID, proximity. Even with everything "off", something still flashes at you from the front camera.
Color rendering? Gamma curves? Unicorn energy? Who knows.

Also when I used other monitors to computer seems macbook nearby was making dark energy buff on me anyway.. That is why it was not helping.

When I got the S25 Ultra, I turned off auto-brightness, disabled animations, and enabled max dim, eye comfort, extra brightness all that stuff that tried before for iphone — and that was the magic combo.

The phone is a bit too large, so now I’m hunting for a smaller EDC-friendly model. But one thing I know: I must avoid Apple devices, whether they use IPS or OLED. Yes I will have to live with this ugly ux of dome android apps but seems I have no choice.

In my country, we even have lighting regulations: flickering index for LEDs must be under 5%, and PWM above 300Hz. So I do believe low-frequency PWM is bad... but in my case, this goes beyond PWM.

Hope this helps someone out there.

And as we say in the movies:
All characters are fictional. Any resemblance to real people is purely coincidental. 😉 Hope I helped someone…

ocean10

coba_chok

What SSRI helped you? (I realize there is the potential for the side effects you mentioned)

DJTaurus

enabled max dim: is that found on the ultra settings?

DJTaurus

Did you try any other androids?

macsforme

I'm curious about your experience with different versions of iOS and macOS? A lot of people have strain starting with iOS 17 and continuing into 18, but can tolerate iOS 15 and 16 (at least earlier subversions of 15 and 16). macOS has a few reports of strain that I found going all the way back to 10.13 High Sierra, but significantly increased somewhere between Catalina 10.15 and Monterey 12.

I see you used an iPhone X, which has a maximum iOS of 16 (mostly good for me), although the OLED screen disagrees with some people. All of your Apple silicon Macs have a minimum macOS of at least Big Sur 11, which was known to cause strain for some people. Certainly the hardware itself has a role in many/most cases (especially Apple's laptop panels from the last few years), but I am curious about the software/firmware factor in your case as well.

coba_chok

@DJTaurus #p44022
Yep, I’ve got Max Brightness Dim enabled and keep auto-brightness off. I just adjust it manually — like in the good old Nokia days.
Outdoors, if it’s too dark with max dim on, I temporarily disable it to get some actual visibility

@DJTaurus #p44023
Not yet — still on the hunt for a compact phone. Planning to test the OnePlus 13T and the regular S25 next month.
I just need something that doesn’t feel like I’m carrying a brick in my pocket with up-to-date functionality, power and doesn’t bring this feeling of sickness.

@macsforme #p44024
I've used every iOS version from 11 up to 18.6 beta 1, and macOS from Big Sur to Sequoia 15.5 — pretty much every major release. Haven’t tested anything earlier than Big Sur though.

From my experience, it’s mostly hardware-related. My current MacBook Air 13 (M4) is somewhat tolerable on Sequoia 15.5, but only with the full ritual dance:
StillColor enabled (with both dithering and uniformity filters), font smoothing disabled (via Font Smooth Adjuster), Reduce Motion on, light mode, a completely white wallpaper, True Tone and auto-brightness off, grayscale filter, and sRGB color profile.

I also suspect part of the issue is how Apple renders fonts, uses colors, and — most annoyingly — how their sensors behave. Even with everything "turned off", the brightness, proximity, True Tone, and Face ID sensors randomly blink at you like a haunted disco.

Sure, you can tape over the sensors manually… but that’s like buying a Porsche 911 and doing an engine swap with a Toyota Corolla 1.6 VVT-i. Technically works — spiritually insulting.

And let’s be real: the body can handle occasional stress, but if it’s exposed to a constant invisible trigger, it builds up. It’s like low-level radiation — you don’t feel it until it hits you hard.

And yeah — stepping away from Apple wasn’t an easy choice. I really love their simplicity, smooth UX, and awesome cameras. But life is full of compromises, and sometimes the worst ones aren’t even about comfort — they’re about how much you pay for it later. Literally and metaphorically.

coba_chok

I also think that somehow these devices overload my visual sensors and I start experiencing neurological symptoms.
Maybe I just have a low sensitivity threshold and it kicks in fast — kinda like alcohol: one guy takes a shot and ends up on the floor, for another it’s like rocket fuel — drink a and boom, let’s go.

I feel similar effects with sound too. If kids are screaming in the room, I can last maybe 10 minutes… and then it hits — headache, body goes full survival mode. No more motivation, no plans, no goals, no joy — just one wish: please make this hell stop.

I’ve read that this is common for people with ADHD or similar neurodivergent conditions, but who really knows. What I do know now is — other devices work fine for me.

It’s like trying to focus on work in a room where there’s a party going on, music blasting, lights constantly flickering, and fireworks exploding every now and then — and someone’s like, “Hey, why don’t you just ignore it and concentrate on work?”

AshX

Very interesting. Thanks for sharing. I’m also 32, but my issues started after a 2022 COVID infection and got even worse when I got reinfected in 2024.

I’m curious, if you don’t mind me asking, if you have any underlying health issues? Unlike a lot of folks here who have unfortunately suffered for many years, I can pinpoint when it started. It got a lot worse when I lived in an apartment with toxic black mold. I have long COVID, POTS, dysautonomia, and an autoimmune disease (MCTD - it’s basically like you get a little bit of RA, Lupus, and Scleroderma - woo hoo!). So my nervous system is already perpetually “over stressed.”

Strangely, I use an iPhone 13 on iOS 15 with no problems. It has PWM. No idea why it works other than I’ve used it through the last 3 years constantly. I’m trying to ease my way back into a laptop but it’s hard. As you said, the body can take a bit of stress…

I wonder if you’ve noticed an improvement with PC laptops or desktops compared to your MacBook Air? The M4 Air gave me a seizure from all the low frequency flickering and I’ve looked at different PCs in store and many cause motion sickness immediately or eye pain. So I’m very curious as to what the differentiating factor between Android phones vs. Apple phones is, and why that doesn’t seem to carry over to PC’s…at least the ones I’ve seen on display.

I’m glad you haven’t taken the path to numbing your body and nervous system to tolerate these devices. I say that we are the canaries in the coal mine - the more sensitive of our species who are picking up on dangers the rest of the herd are not yet aware of. Many people blame Eyestrain on blue light or screen usage, but I truly believe things like flicker, polarization, and light diffusion are really the primary triggers. It’s just not severe enough for most people for them to realize it. Our communities keep growing so that to me is an indication these devices are getting worse. The body is telling us something for a reason.

coba_chok

@AshX #p44031
Aside from officially diagnosed ADHD, I’ve got no health issues at all — vision is fine, blood pressure’s perfect, blood tests, cholesterol — all textbook clean.
Doctors say I’m fit enough to be a Navy SEAL or jump out of planes with a toothbrush between my teeth. So yeah, not exactly fragile.

I’ve had COVID three times (lab-confirmed) first in 2021, but I really don’t think that’s the cause.
The dizziness, disorientation, and nausea were already happening before I ever got sick. And every time I went on vacation, left my phone behind, and actually touched grass — all symptoms just vanished like magic. Even now, I just put iphone away and two hours later feel reborn. But unfortunately, my work is connected with internet, so I cannot avoid devices.

That’s why I’m leaning toward hypersensitivity to something Apple’s doing. The problem is — we can’t isolate it. Apple doesn’t let you fully turn things off one by one.
Even with “Reduce Motion” on, there are still ghost animations, parallax effects waving at you, and sensors like True Tone, Face ID, and proximity doing their secret nightclub routine in the background.

And I think it’s not just one factor — it’s likely a combo. Like a perfect storm of micro-annoyances that, together, create a full-blown neurological mess. That’s why Android and PC feel like a breath of fresh air — you can fully kill animations, block sensors, test one feature at a time, and actually feel the difference.

Also, I truly believe a lot of people suffer from similar symptoms but have no clue their phone is the root cause.
Recently I was at a restaurant with my wife. They had a ton of cheap flickering Chinese LED decorations in room for selfies. I spotted the flicker instantly with camera (even at 1/100 shutter it was obvious), and moved to a flicker-free area like a good ol’ vampire escaping sunlight.
My wife stayed in the pretty room, took selfies, chatted with her friends — and guess what? That night she got hit with a massive migraine out of nowhere and couldn’t figure out why.
I didn’t feel anything — I dodge that stuff on instinct now. But for her, it was like a sneak attack with a frying pan.

I mean, I still remember the glory days of playing Counter-Strike 1.5 and 1.6 for 10 hours straight, sitting in front of a CRT monitor with a cactus next to it (you know, to "absorb the radiation" ) and one of those extra clip-on plastic screen protectors. Zero issues back then. Long time, constantly playing and no this feeling like you are a Vampire and someone put garlic in your pants.

Somewhere I read about that old Chinese torture method — the one where a single drop of water keeps falling on your head. Seems harmless at first... but over time, it drives you insane.
That’s what this feels like: one tiny visual disturbance after another, drip by drip, until your brain just snaps and throws up a white flag.

AshX

coba_chok

It seems like that threshold is different for everyone, which is part of the problem. I do think Apple has done something very bad since 2023 in terms of their phones and computers. Strain existed before then way back to the Intel days, but it wasn’t as cumulative as you say.

I wonder how much of it is hardware based. Not that software isn’t a problem - it is - but I think many are looking for a silver bullet that doesn’t exist. Interestingly I find many Android devices - especially Samsung - way worse than even the worst iPhone.

I can use my iPhone 13 comfortably with no special settings. Yet when they re-released those phones in 2023 as the new budget model, they were entirely different and I couldn’t even look at them. My mom has an iPhone 13 bought at the same time as mine from the same place and it’s on iOS 18 and while not as comfortable as iOS 15, I can use it for 15 minutes with no problems. Both these phones have PWM. No idea if they have dithering but I suspect they do.

I would consider myself fairly severe. Yet I can use this phone. So what’s the differentiating factor? I read rumors that Apple shifted production in China during the pandemic and the factory that originally made screens was outbid by a cheaper competitor.

I hear you about the restaurant lights. Apple Stores actually have the same flicker frequency as their laptops. I get the same pre-seizure symptoms just walking in there as I got from their MacBook Air. So yes, it is deliberate. And it seems to have gotten much worse in 2023.

coba_chok

Also, let’s be real — when switching to PC or Android, most of the time you get worse screens, clunkier UI design, and you have to relearn how to do the stuff you used to do with your eyes closed.
Of course there’s resistance. I totally get it — I’m still grumbling at some of Samsung’s and Windows’ weird design decisions. Every time I try make usual things on Windows I feeling like I am diffusing a bomb.

But that’s all psychological discomfort, not physical.

It’s like giving veggies to a kid who’s used to candy — yeah, they’ll complain, throw a tantrum, maybe launch a broccoli across the room.
Doesn’t mean the veggies are bad — just means the candy was more tasty (and can harm their health in near future).

Same here: these Android and PC devices don’t make me physically sick. No nausea, no migraines, no dizziness. And that’s already a massive win in my book.

randomboolean

@"coba_chok" #p44008

I had to double-check I wasn’t sleep-posting. this is basically my story too (10 years ago, bought macbook, damaged my eyes, vertigo, nausea, etc etc), apart from the bit with Samsung and the MacBook haha. Thanks for sharing, it’s genuinely motivating and gives hope that new tech can still work. Sounds like high-end gear with all the fancy settings stripped back is doing the trick for you, which is great. Definitely worth trying new high end tech with settings removed.

By the way, as I understand Android doesn't bother your eyes at all? Do you use the latest version?

By the way, where are you from? Quite a few of us here are non-native speakers, Europe, India and other places. I’m not native either. Been speaking in an Australian English accent lately since I moved here two years ago.

DisplaysShouldNotBeTVs

randomboolean Sounds like high-end gear with all the fancy settings stripped back is doing the trick for you, which is great.

I'd say in their case it's specifically more "high-end OLED" that's working.

I've had a few similar experiences, where some recent OLED TVs, especially LG, are actually ok to look at (provided the right source is connected, i.e. a PS5, but NOT an apple TV with all of its typical apple image processing)

coba_chok

@randomboolean #p44036

I can’t say for sure that all Android phones are eye-friendly — because so far I’ve only tested one: the Samsung Galaxy S25 Ultra, latest version (Android 15, One UI 7, June 1st update).

First thing I did? Went full ninja mode:

• Enabled dark mode

• Turned on Eye Comfort Shield

• Max Dim ON

• Auto-brightness OFF

• Extra brightness feature OFF (only when needed I change it manually)

• Killed all transparencies, blur effects, and animation nonsense

• Set a pure black wallpaper

• switched the resolution to UFHD+ and matched DPI to the actual PPI

• Changed the default font and adjusted font size to make it comfy

Basically turned the phone into a tactical no-flash stealth device. And… it worked great! Rocket fast like a computer. Immediate touch response like you tap and get result - not blurry effect, animation, just immediate result. And what I like if you turned auto brightness, auto color correction and off face recognition- there is no more sensors flashing 3000 times during the day right in your face.

Now I’m getting 8–9 hours of screen-on time while working — and absolutely zero issues. Even prefer it more then laptop.

Honestly, I’m even scared to touch the settings now — like, if it ain’t broke, don’t fix it 😅

As I mentioned before, eye pain was never the main issue for me with Apple, may be sometimes feeling of dry eye. It’s more about nausea, dizziness, vertigo, migraines — the full motion sickness package.

Samsung, with this setup, doesn’t trigger any of that so far. But it provides HUGELY faster motion on the screen.

I am from Europe, so hope everything I explain here in english is readable.

randomboolean

coba_chok thanks, that's very useful! How long did it take to adapt or was it an immediate relief when you changed some settings?

Also, are you still using macbook or it's still causes the dizziness, nausea, etc?

DJTaurus

coba_chok match DPI to PPI how that is done?

coba_chok

@randomboolean #p44039
There was no need to “adapt” at all — I just started using it, and boom — no issues. No any symptoms from day one.

I did mention earlier that I found a magical settings combo that made my MacBook Air 13 M4 somewhat tolerable (listed above).
But I only use it in emergency situations, when I absolutely have to run pro software like DaVinci Resolve, Adobe Photoshop, or After Effects.

Since most of my daily work involves things like browser tasks, messaging, email, video calls, Google Sheets — I just do all that on my phone - sometimes I connect it to simple Benq office monitor with keyboard and mouse and use DEX. but not that often.

Only when it's time to dive into editing or motion graphics — that’s when I reluctantly open the MacBook, because there’s simply no decent alternative yet. I have not found portable and powerful solution like MBA.

Like a toxic ex — useful sometimes, but you try to keep the interaction to a minimum. 😅

Yeah, the MacBook still causes some discomfort — even with all my custom settings.
I still can’t fully figure out what exactly is triggering it, but at least now I can get work done in short sessions with breaks.

Honestly, I’m just exhausted from trying to pinpoint the exact cause.
At first, I thought it was PWM — but based on tests, Samsung has horrible PWM and I’m totally fine with it.
Then I suspected temporal dithering — but apparently, my phone uses that too and I feel great.
So either that’s not the cause, or it’s something about how Apple implements it that makes the difference.

The problem is — I can’t figure it out, because Apple doesn’t let you fully disable everything for testing.
It’s like going to a coffee shop that only sells ultra-sweet drinks.
You ask, “Can I get it without sugar?”
And they say, “Absolutely! We have a no-sugar option!”.
Then they pour it anyway — just 20% instead of 100%. The fact is that it is not "disable option" it is Apple "reduce setting"
A regular person won’t notice, but a diabetic? Yeah… that’s a fast-track ticket to disaster.

That’s how it feels — the small invisible things that “shouldn’t matter” but completely break you if you’re sensitive enough.

randomboolean

DisplaysShouldNotBeTVs I agree, that's the better way to put it. I also believe there are many good panels out there, but we don’t realise it because it’s hard to get the software and hardware (GPU, CPU) side to stay “still”.

Funnily enough, I had the most success with the cheapest of the cheap setups, probably because they didn’t support certain features, which ended up reducing high-level strain, nausea, dizziness, vertigo. But I never saw that as a long-term solution. Even though I’m not sensitive to casual low-level flicker on those setups (so I can use it all day), those ultra-budget screens are usually terrible for the eyes due to PWM and other issues.

I also had one case where newer tech was dumbed down (Windows running on the basic driver), and with a good panel, it actually worked fine.

randomboolean

ocean10

coba_chok

My 5 cents on SSRIs.

SSRIs are often one of the first options doctors turn to, since they’re among the most widely approved and studied medications that directly affect brain chemistry. Unless you’re dealing with severe depression, I wouldn’t recommend taking them purely for flicker sensitivity or eye strain.

I went through severe depression myself, partly triggered by realising how much this LED strain issue was impacting my life. I felt completely stuck. At the time, I had severe burnout (late stages), doing meaningless work, dealing with a breakup after a long relationship, and facing a few other things that pushed me over the edge. Therapy alone wasn’t enough. Medication helped a lot and I recovered from the depression fairly quickly. The burnout took around 8 to 10 months to get back to about 80 percent productivity, and around a year and a half to fully bounce back. I’m still left with long-term consequences. Therapy and self-work also made a big difference.

I can confirm that these meds often make you feel like a bit of a zombie at first. Emotions can feel different. Some people say SSRIs saved their life, others say they ruined it. For me, it was hard at first to get used to feeling numb, but it actually became helpful. I hadn’t realised how anxious I was all the time. Over time, I learned how to experience emotions differently. They’re not as intense, but in my case, they feel deeper and more meaningful. That shift came from a mix of introspection, therapy, and personal growth. It’s not for everyone, but in my case, I became a better, calmer, more positive person. But as I said, I wouldn't recommend SSRIs to anyone, unless you are dealing with severe mental health issues.

coba_chok

@ocean10

At first, I was diagnosed with depression and got prescribed Prozac (fluoxetine).

Didn’t work for me — completely killed my libido. Like, RIP, gone.

Then they switched me to Zoloft (sertraline) — which just turned me into a zombie.

Not only did I stop caring about screen-related symptoms, I stopped caring about literally everything, including my own life.

I could’ve been on fire and just calmly said, “Huh. Warm today.”

Eventually, I dropped all of those meds — because being a lifeless, sleepless, sexless zombie didn’t feel like a good trade-off for slightly less nausea.

I do not recommend to take any meds especially that influence brain without a prescription. You can get even worse side effects