Do not feel stupid. You are not the only one to have similar issues. For an year and a half I have been going crazy with electronic devices. There is not a smartphone I can use as of now. Mine was perfect until a "wrong" update an year ago. I am very sensitive to modern lighting as well, I can't stand LEDs and many fluorescent lamps.
I am sure someone more knowledgeable on this forum will give you more details / more solid suggestions, but please allow me two notes.
Be cautious updating software if you find a phone/laptop/PC config that works. Updating OS/apps/browser has proven to be the cause of eyestrain for many of us "sensitive" guys, and some upgrades, e.g., phone's OS, are irreversible.
You mentioned you have been to an eye doctor. I have been to four specialists within a couple of months, and my eyes seem to function well. Still, the degree of my eyestrain / disturbs is sky-high. It looks like some underlying eye defects are not investigated by most doctors. I am sure @martin and others who are being treated will be more specific, but you can start reading ot this forum threads about vision therapy, eye exercises, heterophoria and so on.
Where I currently live I can't find such type of optometry support, and I look forward to having my eyes checked more thoroughly.
There are a bunch of people on this forum who never wore glasses / are negative to any standards eye-test, yet cannot use modern electronic devices. Good luck, I hope you soon find a way out!