Thanks for the comments sir, and for the recommendation on the 75 Hz Samsung LF24T350FHRXEN. I've tried ALL settings and color profiles, in 30+ monitors now, and have tried narrowing down LED types or coatings by panel #, all largely to no avail. For me it seems to be something about the LED backlight itself causing my issue.
Update: Unfortunately the Asus Tuf VG27AQA1A is not going to work for me. It does still cause the eye pain and strain symptoms- though not as quickly as some other monitors. The hunt continues.